IN a stylishly converted French farmhouse, Bernard is hoping to entertain his chic, Parisian mistress, Suzanne, for the weekend.

He has arranged for a cordon bleu cook, Suzette, to furnish the gourmet delights, is in the process of packing his wife, Jacqueline, off to her mother, and he has even invited his best friend, Robert, as a suitable alibi. What could possibly go wrong?

Find out in Rossendale Players' Don't Dress For Dinner by Mark Camoletti. With a cast that includes Mark Storton as Bernard, Patricia Hudson as Suzanne and Rachel Gosling as Jacqueline, this is a light and tasty comic souffle that's not to be missed and runs at Bacup Leisure Hall on Tuesday November 16 and Wednesday, November 17 with a dinner theatre performance on Thursday, November 18.

Ticket prices on Tuesday and Wednesday are £5, with concessions £4. Call (01706) 228720 for details.

Details about the Thursday dinner theatre performance, where you can combine a four course meal with this fast-moving farce, are available on (01706) 214308.

Footstomping time ahead

WITH songs like I Got Rhythm, But Not For Me and They Can't Take That Away From Me, Accrington Amateurs' Crazy For You promises to be a footstomping, tap-dancing treat.

The Gershwin musical will be directed by Howard Raw, who is celebrating 25 years with the society.

It runs at Oswaldtwistle Civic Theatre until November 6.

Tickets are £8, concessions £7 and family £25 and are available from the tourist information centre at Accrington Town Hall.

A hell of his own making

JOHN Smith has two families he has kept apart for many years. Yet his teenage children, one boy, one girl, have linked up on the internet and are keen to meet.

John plunges into a hell of his own making to try to prevent this in Blackburn Drama Club's December play Caught In The Net, a farce by Ray Cooney.The play runs from Wednesday December 1 until Saturday December 4 nightly at 7.30 pm at the Thwaites Empire Theatre in Blackburn. For tickets, costing £6, call (01254) 680137.

Secret Lives insight

THEY enjoyed a night of passion in Oswaldtwistle Players' recent production of A Night On The Tiles and obviously hit it off offstage too.

For now talented actors Samantha Payne and Paul McGowan are returning to the stage in The Secret Lives Of Henry And Alice.

In this challenging play, by David Tristram, both actors are on stage virtually all the time,

And they have to play numerous characters.

The production takes place on November 12 and 13 at St Mary's Parish Centre, Lock Street, Oswaldtwistle at 7.30pm.

Tickets cost £3 and are available at the venue, on the door, or by ringing (01254) 725713.

Bounce along to Godber

IT'S a Friday night out in a Northern town and the lads and lasses are getting ready to party.

That's the premise of Ribchester Amateur Theatrical Society's production of John Godber's Bouncers, which runs from November 10 to 12.

The play stars Rob Hindle, Kevan Thompson, Guy Mason and Keith Flood who play all the parts without leaving the stage.

The play is very funny, but does contain strong language.

A licensed bar will open at 7pm for a curtain up at 7.45pm. For tickets call (01254) 878530.

THE Dorothy Bruce School Of Dance presents Robinson Crusoe on November 18, 19 and 20 at 7.15pm with a Saturday matinee at 2.15pm at the Oswaldtwistle Civic Theatre.

BURNLEY Youth Theatre's The Water Babies will be performed on December 17 and 18 at Burnley Mechanics. For tickets, call (01282) 664400.