Kirsty Redford on men's mental health this Movember

Across the country, men are growing moustaches, some magnificent and others looking as though they've lost an argument with a felt-tip pen.

Behind the fun, though, is a conversation I care deeply about: men's mental health, and whether we're making the men in our lives feel valued for who they are.

When we imagine a man struggling, we might picture the hardworking dad carrying everyone's worries, the husband who fixes everything except his own problems, or the quiet bloke who never complains.

You know the type: he'll spend three hours repairing a cupboard but insist he's absolutely fine when you ask how he's doing.

But what about the man who's always centre stage?

The joker who has everyone laughing, the confident businessman, the storyteller who can turn a trip to Tesco into a comedy routine?

What about the sensitive man who talks openly, the shy one who prefers a quiet evening, or the man who doesn't fit anybody's idea of what a man should be?

Every one of them deserves to be asked how life is treating him.

Through my work, I meet all sorts of personalities.

I've learnt that we cannot tell what's happening in someone's mind from the role they play in a room.

A person can be dependable and exhausted, funny and lonely, confident in one situation and uncertain in another.

Equally, a quiet man isn't necessarily unhappy, and a loud one isn't necessarily hiding pain.

That's why getting to know the person matters more than guessing from the outside.

I love making people smile.

A genuine compliment, remembering something somebody told me, or taking five minutes to have a proper conversation can change the feeling of a day.

Often, I find that little bit of happiness comes straight back to me.

And wouldn't it be lovely if we made that kindness part of everyday life, rather than saving it for an awareness month?

Men shouldn't have to earn care by being strong, successful, useful or entertaining.

Nor should they feel they have to produce a grand emotional speech to deserve support.

Sometimes talking happens more easily on a walk, during a drive or while watching football together.

This week's tip: Think of a man in your life, whatever his personality.

Tell him something specific you appreciate about him, then ask how he's doing and give him time to answer.

Thought for the week: Every man deserves to be loved for who he is, not just the part he plays in everybody else's life.

Kirsty Redford is an NLP therapist and firewalk instructor, passionate about helping people understand their minds, challenge their fears and find their inner power.