“I didn’t feel quite right,” said Rachel Lucas, as she shared her experience of postpartum psychosis following the birth of her children.
Rachel, from Clitheroe, became seriously unwell shortly after the birth of her first child, following what had initially been a straightforward pregnancy.
Following concerns raised during her baby’s newborn checks, Rachel experienced extreme anxiety and severe sleep deprivation.
She said: “I had been so anxious, and I was convinced that if I fell asleep, something bad would happen to my daughter.”
Despite raising concerns with staff, her condition worsened after returning home, with symptoms escalating rapidly.
Rachel said: “I was still unable to sleep, my thoughts were racing, and I started to have delusions.”
She was later admitted to the hospital and diagnosed with suspected postpartum psychosis, a rare but serious mental health condition that can develop suddenly after childbirth.
During her illness, Rachel experienced hallucinations, paranoia, and confusion.
"I was convinced I was in prison, and I believed I had harmed my baby. At times, I even thought I had died myself."
She spent six weeks receiving specialist care on a Mother and Baby Unit, where she was able to gradually recover while maintaining a bond with her daughter.
Reflecting on that time, she said: “I was too unwell to care for my daughter.”
After returning home, Rachel initially struggled to process what had happened.
“I was in denial that it ever happened, and I didn’t want to talk about it.
"I also felt a sense of grief that so much time had passed, and I’d missed out on what we pictured life with a newborn to be like,” she said.
It wasn’t until later that she reached out to Action on Postpartum Psychosis, where she found support from others who had experienced similar challenges.
Following the birth of her second child, Rachel experienced postpartum psychosis again, despite early support and planning.
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She said: “About a week and a half later, I started having similar symptoms - heightened anxiety, being unable to sleep, feeling manic, and being obsessed about my newborn's safety and health.”
This time, she was admitted to a Mother and Baby Unit more quickly, but her condition again deteriorated rapidly, requiring further intensive care.
Reflecting on the difference, she said: “The second time was still frightening, but I knew that I was going to get better and I was able to advocate for myself more.”
Rachel has since recovered and now volunteers to support other families affected by postpartum psychosis, helping to raise awareness of a condition she says she had never heard of before experiencing it herself.
“Having PP has been really tough, but it’s also made me a much stronger person,” she said.
“I had never heard of postpartum psychosis before it happened to me, and having just some knowledge of it, or knowing where to find help, would have made a big difference.”
Rachel and her partner are now also taking on fundraising challenges, including the London Marathon and an 85-mile run between Mother and Baby Units, to support the charity that helped them.
“Now, I want to raise money to help APP continue to support other families but I also feel strongly about raising awareness,” she said.
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