Two widows from Lancashire are joining forces this December to ensure no one grieving the loss of a partner feels alone.
They have launched #WidowedAtChristmas, a new campaign offering solidarity, comfort, and community during a season that can feel painfully isolating after bereavement.
The campaign has been created by Heather Smith and Nicky Wake, who have each endured the heartbreak of losing their partner and navigating Christmas through grief.
Both women are board members of The Widowed Collective, the free peer-to-peer support organisation founded earlier this year.
The group is supporting the campaign by sharing stories, advice and resources throughout December and inviting people across the UK to join the conversation using the hashtag.
Rawtenstall-based Heather Smith, 37, met her husband Stuart in 2011. They married in 2013 and went on to have two children, Georgia and Toby.
In 2020, Stuart was diagnosed with kidney cancer, and after a year of treatment he died in July 2021, just three days before their daughter’s seventh birthday.
Their son was only two, leaving Heather widowed at 33 and trying to rebuild life for her young family.
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She said: “Stuart was Christmas. He loved everything about it, the cooking, the silliness, the magic. He was the life and soul of it all.
"Our first Christmas without him was devastating. It was pure survival. I tried so hard for the kids and for the grandparents, but inside I was completely broken.”
She added that the loneliness of young widowhood was overwhelming.
“Friends meant well, but they were wrapped up in their own family Christmases, and I felt more alone than ever," she said.
"I wish I had reached out sooner. Finding my widow ‘tribe’ saved me. Young widowhood is excruciatingly lonely, but once you find people who truly get it, everything starts to feel a little lighter.”
Nearly five years on, Heather has begun reshaping Christmas traditions in a way that honours the past while creating room for the future.
She added: “Our lives look different now, but there is still joy, and Stuart would have wanted that.
"My advice to anyone facing Christmas after losing their partner is to take the pressure off. Do whatever helps you get through the day.
"If all you manage is surviving it, that is enough. When you feel ready, reach out, because there is a whole community here waiting for you, and you don’t have to go through this alone.”
Bury-based Nicky Wake, 53, who runs Rawtenstall company Don’t Panic Events, lost her husband Andy in 2020, three years after he suffered a catastrophic heart attack and cardiac arrest in 2017, which left him with a severe brain injury.
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After years of complications, specialist care and Christmases marked by uncertainty while parenting their son Finn alone, Andy died aged 57 in a neurocare facility.
His loss reshaped Nicky’s life and motivated her to help build a community so others would never feel as isolated as she once did.
She said: “Christmas changed forever the year Andy died. The pressure to be festive when your heart is in pieces is enormous.
"Every song, every advert, every empty chair feels like a reminder of what you’ve lost. That’s why we created #WidowedAtChristmas, to offer a moment of solidarity, of honesty, and to remind people that whatever they’re feeling, they don’t need to carry it alone.”
She said connection with others who understand grief has been essential.
“I remember Andy as warm, wickedly funny and deeply loving, the kind of dad who made every tradition feel magical," she went on.
"Christmas has a way of magnifying grief, but it can also magnify connection. Nobody understands a widow like another widow, and that sense of community can be life-changing.”
Her advice for those facing their first Christmas without a partner is gentle and direct.
“Take it hour by hour. Be gentle with yourself. You don’t have to perform joy or match anyone else’s expectations. Do whatever feels manageable, and please know that you are not alone.”
Launched earlier this year, The Widowed Collective offers free peer-to-peer support for anyone who has lost a romantic partner.
The organisation provides a moderated online community, guidance on legal matters, finances, solo parenting and wellbeing, and a growing programme of online and in-person meet-ups across the UK.
Open to widowed people of all ages, genders, sexual identities and marital statuses, the group is led entirely by those with lived experience, with a board made up exclusively of widows and widowers.
Throughout December, The Widowed Collective is running free weekly online drop-in sessions every Monday evening, including during Christmas week, offering a safe space for connection, conversation and support at a time when many feel the absence of their partner most sharply.
For more information about #WidowedAtChristmas, or to join The Widowed Collective for free, visit www.thewidowedcollective.com or find the organisation across its social platforms.
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