Is there anything more Christmassy than a mince pie? Is there anything more delicious than a pork pie? For me, these two facts are beyond dispute.
And just as Willy Wonka once managed to squeeze an entire roast dinner into a single piece of gum, Haslingden Bakery Cissy Green has attempted its own festive alchemy: combining mince pie flavours with the humble pork pie.
It’s already causing murmurs of controversy in the town, so naturally, I had to investigate.
I consider the pork pie the greatest British delicacy of them all and, much to my waistband’s despair, I’ve sampled more variations than I care to admit: the North Western black-pudding bruiser, the continental chorizo experiment, and — dare I say it in these parts — even a Melton Mowbray.
Before arriving at Cissy Greens, I knew what I was getting myself into. Since moving to the region, I quickly learned of the acclaimed status of the bakery, and now, having finally made the pilgrimage, I understand why.
Matt Haworth, who runs the bakery with his dad Barry, told me that their pies are consistently their best sellers, and that the festive version reminds him of a pork and pickle or pork and cranberry — that familiar sweet–savoury mix.
For me, that doesn’t quite do it justice. The spiced mincemeat is a wholly unique flavour experience, with the cinnamon and nutmeg carolling sweetly against the saltiness of the pork, in a warm and fragrant way that is unmistakably festive.
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I’m glad to report I didn’t pull a full Violet Beauregarde and inflate into a pork pie — although, given it was from Cissy Greens, I might not have complained.
It’s the best bits of Christmas combined, worlds away from charades and the Coronation Street omnibus — more like pigs in blankets and Christmas cake curling up together for a showing of Love Actually.
The porky mince pies are £3.70 each and available now, with more Christmas treats — including an eggnog custard tart — soon to follow.
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