I NEVER thought I would ever say this, but, the blander the food the better.

Having eaten curry and spicy food all week I now find myself looking forward to the basic jacket potato and simple fish and chips.

Sorry, I could not find any other way of saying this but I do not think I am alone in this new found need to eat ‘bland’ tasteless food.

It takes me back to the famous Goodness Gracious Me TV sketch when the team are out for a meal and revel in the fact that the food is bland.

They then proceed to order everything on the menu.

I think that we have been going about this the wrong way. Ever since I was a kid I liked to eat bland food and I think the curry thing has been forced upon me because of my colour and culture.

I don’t even think I like curry that much. I am not even sure why I eat it.

I don’t mind the odd chapati but every single wedding is dishing out the same food. Over and over again – new venue same starters and curry dishes.

We are a generation that has lost the will to create something unique.

Most of the fast food we are being fed is processed rubbish and the pizzas are not really pizzas are they? Go to your average takeaway and the pizza has been bastardised into this mish mash of cheese, mince-meat on some frozen dough.

Then it dawned on me.

Does this mean that after 45 years I have regressed into a fully-fledged native. Am I truly, fully integrated now?

I was born here, I speak the language and can name every monarch dating back to 1641, but is this really the final straw?

Have I evolved so much that I hate spicy food and I crave boiled carrots, a cheese and onion pie with gravy?

Yet, everyone else seems to be moving the other way. Maybe they have de-integrated? With their love for funny foods and cultures.

Whilst I spend a Friday night in a quaint pub having fish pie and mash potato, the other bloke is at his favourite Indian sweating away with a Lamb Karahi and naan.

There is no real point fighting it. The curry is dead. Spicy food is a thing of the past.

And there is not shame in saying it out loud. British food is actually better than Indian food.