Through the nicotine bruised window, agog, with a mouth wide open, a deflated football for a head, eyes looking in with horror at my lack of clothing.

I had awoken from a deep sleep, groggy, and needed a little shock therapy to start my day, but for it to be my best friend's grandmother was not the beginning I had been looking for.

I collapsed my legs and rolled into the foetus position with embarrassment.

Crunching, another can, with molten white foam erupting excessively, forcing her to grab the pint mug and to rapidly pore the chemical liquid with a smile.