IT ALL got rather hot 'n' heavy on last night's Animal Attraction: Macho Males on Channel Five.

"This is sperm warfare" announced presenter Vicki Butler-Henderson gravely as a gang of chimps shrieked, clawed each other and shook branches while fighting over a female.

The fascinating documentary showed how males become virile driven creatures and use brute force to fight off rivals to ensure their genes are passed on.

And damn did those primates have sneaky tricks up their sleeves to ensure they become leader of the pack.

Chimps weren't the only animals under the microscope.

We saw how dragonflies deterred opponents with their "cleverly designed" genitals and how male elephant seal haul their blubbery bodies to a particular beach every year not unlike Brits to Faliraki to mate.

But size isn't everything. Apparently nature's most outlandish genitalia tend to belong to the smallest creatures.

None more so than bed bugs, which mate by stabbing the female straight into the belly. Apparently it's known as traumatic copulation you're telling me!

The documentary ended with the sad truth that whereas the majority of females will reproduce, the majority of males will not.

Only dominant males will mate and see their genes continued.

"Males have hundreds of rivals with one thing on their mind." concluded Vicky B-H.

Not too different to a Friday night out then!