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    Pendle Heritage Centre...... Meet the Staff...........Wilf

    Sir Wilf.. Modern day Knight

    Wilf is our Mr Versatile

    His latest task however made us all smile

    Had he been a Knight of old

    Wilf would have been chivalrous, thrusting and bold

    Our present day damsel was in distress

    Locked in the ladies, oh what a mess

    Her cries of distress were heard loud and clear

    Could this be another part of Wilf's chequered career?

    At last someone was heard to say

    "Send for Sir Wilf, he will save the day"

    He didn't have a steed, or any white horse

    But he arrived on the scene in due course

    "I'd charge the door down, but alas, I am that little bit older

    Had I been a Knight of old I would have been bolder

    My shoulder might give me pain

    So I'll get a screwdriver and try again"

    The screws however were inside the loo

    What happens next, what will he do?

    The damsel was now calm, didn't even cry

    Good job too, as its time for d.i.y.

    The door was too low even for a limbo dancer

    Climbing over it was not the answer

    "I'll pass her the screwdriver and talk her through it"

    Wilf had watched films and knew just how to do it

    The lady now calmly removed the screws

    Just like an unexploded bomb and removing the fuse

    The ratchet movement removed, the door opened wide

    "Another gallant deed done" our hero sighed

    "I didn't have to carry her out in my arms"

    With perspiring brow and sweaty palms

    She didn't even require the kiss of life

    As she was breathing and someone's wife"

    Banner unfurled he returned to the Park Hill Barn

    To tell Heather his latest yarn

    How he had rescued a damsel in distress

    On being a hero, nothing more, nothing less

    Frank Walsh Aug 2007

    11:15am Sunday 27th April 2008

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