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Sir Wilf.. Modern day Knight

Wilf is our Mr Versatile

Had he been a Knight of old

Wilf would have been chivalrous, thrusting and bold

Our present day damsel was in distress

Locked in the ladies, oh what a mess

Her cries of distress were heard loud and clear

Could this be another part of Wilf's chequered career?

At last someone was heard to say

"Send for Sir Wilf, he will save the day"

He didn't have a steed, or any white horse

But he arrived on the scene in due course

"I'd charge the door down, but alas, I am that little bit older

Had I been a Knight of old I would have been bolder

My shoulder might give me pain

So I'll get a screwdriver and try again"

The screws however were inside the loo

What happens next, what will he do?

The damsel was now calm, didn't even cry

Good job too, as its time for d.i.y.

The door was too low even for a limbo dancer

Climbing over it was not the answer

"I'll pass her the screwdriver and talk her through it"

Wilf had watched films and knew just how to do it

The lady now calmly removed the screws

Just like an unexploded bomb and removing the fuse

The ratchet movement removed, the door opened wide

"Another gallant deed done" our hero sighed

"I didn't have to carry her out in my arms"

With perspiring brow and sweaty palms

She didn't even require the kiss of life

As she was breathing and someone's wife"

Banner unfurled he returned to the Park Hill Barn

To tell Heather his latest yarn

How he had rescued a damsel in distress

On being a hero, nothing more, nothing less

11:15am Sunday 27th April 2008

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