CHORLEY'S Nick Dougherty tees off in the Italian Open later this morning among the favourites to clinch the title at the Castello di Tolcinasco course.
But the Shaw Hill professional - grieving after the death of his mother Ennis two weeks ago - admitted that, competing just three days after her funeral, he could score "67 or 87" in the first round.
The 25-year-old decided to play this week because his mother wanted him to do all he could to make the Ryder Cup team, and he is currently ninth in the European points standings.
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However, on the back of a turbulent last fortnight, Dougherty, by some way the leading world ranked player in the field, admits he is unsure how he will perform in Italy this week.
"I've not had ideal preparation, but bad things happen to a lot of people in the world," he said.
"This is a disaster for our family and it's something that will never get any better. I don't know how I'm going to react to it.
"I didn't want Wentworth (the European Tour's flagship BMW PGA Championship in two weeks) to be my first week back.
"I don't want there to be any attention there on what has happened. I just want to get on with it.
"When I got the call from my brother saying mum had had a heart attack and it was touch-and-go your perspective changes immediately.
"I was a little concerned that golf wouldn't mean anything any more because in essence it doesn't.
"By my mum's favourite thing in life was to watch me play golf. She lived for it and the thing she would most want for me is the thing I'm best at in life.
"It gives me more ambition and more drive to go ahead - and that includes coming here this week and competing.
"Wouldn't it be lovely to win this for mum and win The Open for mum and dad as well? But the only way for me to achieve those things is for me to go back to doing what I'm doing."
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