THE comedian and author Dave Gorman tells an interesting story about his local church.

When the furore about the allegedly blasphemous – and definitely sweary – stage play ‘Jerry Springer: The Opera’ was at its height, the congregation took up a petition to ban it.

MORE TOP STORIES:

The only person not to sign it was the local vicar; the only person to have actually SEEN the play? Yes, the vicar.

Lately I have been given a full rundown of the manager’s and players’ failings by a dozen or so folk, who then casually toss in slight variations on the sentence, ‘I haven’t been for two or three seasons’.

So, given that they could only have seen the Rovers when they were live on TV for the first and last games of last season (and lost neither), are these stay-away fans really qualified to comment?

On one hand, I have never watched Benefit Street or TOWIE, but I know they are awful.

On the other, I have watched Ben Marshall play 50 games and I’m still not sure if I rate him or not.

Some would say that reflects more on my lack of football knowledge or indecision, but I wouldn’t know about that.

And now the tabloids are joining in the Chinese whispers. Clearly thinking ‘check your sources’ means ensuring your Dolmio hasn’t reached expiry-date, Gary Bowyer’s departure was announced with undue haste on The Sun website and Champagne sales in Lower Darwen experienced a momentary spike.

I do not wish to rehash my view from last week so I can only add that Bowyer is one game nearer the exit door, just like every single other manager. When a man who can take us up and keep us up demands the job, I’ll change my stance.

That said, I don’t deny Rovers have real problems.

The nature of a pre-season build-up is to get players fully fit and integrate new members of the squad, both tactically and fraternally.

Rovers delayed this process, by whatever means, and have blooded three new players in the Championship since the opening day of the season, having already brought in four others within a fortnight prior to the Wolves game.

However, of the six who have debuted already in the league, none are defenders and so the rearguard, at least, should by now be settled. It is not.

Unearned goals have been conceded, and general shakiness and rumours of want-away players abound, but, as we have already seen over the summer, and especially last weekend, ‘Rumours’ may have been good for Fleetwood Mac, but they aren’t for Blackburn Rovers.