CONJURING mental images of BBC One’s Saturday Kitchen, Joey Barton revealed it was an omelette that Sean Dyche rustled up when he went to the Burnley manager’s house for talks over lunch last week.

“I can’t make one,” he announced yesterday at his first press conference since signing a one-year deal at Turf Moor.

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“To me an omelette seems relatively complex but to people who cook it’s obviously not.

“I’m told by his wife that it wasn’t a very good omelette but I found it edible and I’m still here to tell the tale!”

It wasn’t just the Clarets chief’s culinary skills that left an impression on Barton though.

“We just sat over the table and had a coffee and spoke at length face to face for the first time - a little bit about football and a lot about being a human being - and that’s when I knew.

“It was just listening to someone and the reality of a no-nonsense approach - ‘this is where we are, this is what we want to do, this is how I see it for you’.

“It was so refreshing.

“There are a lot of people talking a lot of nonsense from time to time but professing to know everything and it can cloud it.

“I just looked him in the eye and knew he was a genuine man.

“I knew this was a place I could come and just play football.

“I’m somebody who cares, somebody who tries and one thing I can guarantee Burnley fans is every time I pull the shirt on, they’ll get everything I’ve got in my body – that’s the only way I know how to play.

“I knew I could just concentrate on getting better, turn up every day, try to improve as a player.

“That is the ethos of the group, and everybody here is geared towards finding improvement. That hasn’t always been the case at clubs I’ve been at.

“Sometimes you’ve been that worried about looking over your back and maybe knives going in there rather than just focusing on getting better.

“That is football from time to time.

“There were a few different offers on the table but I walked out, picked the phone up and said I want to sign for Burnley.

“It was a no-brainer for me. It was the perfect fit for me.”

Now Barton is focused on being match fit.

He is the first to admit he is playing catch-up after missing pre-season, but is prepared to do everything possible to put himself in with a chance of being ready to face Sheffield Wednesday in just over a week’s time at Turf Moor - even foregoing a slice of his own birthday cake.

“I’ll be training,” said the Scouser when asked how he would mark the occasion of turning 33 today. “I don’t feel it,” he adds. “But you don’t really celebrate them at this age as a footballer because everyone looks down their nose at you.

“I never get the concept of birthdays. It’s always baffled me.

“I’ve had it with my missus because she’s really into birthdays.

“I understand it for kids and stuff, it’s a day to get presents.

“There are lots of things I don’t get and birthdays are one of them.

“Is surviving another year what we celebrate it for? What are we celebrating?”

Barton admits this year is going to feel particularly tough. He can’t have his cake and eat it.

“People buy you a cake and now, in September, you’ve done a bit of pre-season so you can have a bit of birthday cake... But I haven’t done one this season so I can’t.

“I’ve got to train and get myself in shape and everyone’s tucking into it, so I’ll probably be more miserable than I usually am on birthdays!”

Perhaps he’ll have an omelette instead.