Is it really so cool to moan all the time?

First published in Shuiab Khan column Lancashire Telegraph: Photograph of the Author by

Is being grumpy a God-given right?

Or are we finding any old reason to be grumpy even when there is nothing to be grumpy about?

Of course there are fair few things I would highlight that require a new level of grumpiness.

The persistent rain, the price of diesel and automated checkouts to name but a few.

But on the whole I sense now that it has become all too easy to become grumpy for the sake of being grumpy.

This week I read about how these charity collectors, known as chuggers have been banned in one town centre for five days a week.

Okay, I am no fan of those these folk but they just seem so happy all the time.

We shrug our shoulders and walk past but for one moment of the day you get great hello and a smile. It brightens up the day.

Some years ago some people were having a good old moan about young people hanging around in town centres.

You know the ones – they dress funny, have weird haircuts and hold skateboards. In other words ‘teenagers’.

Most of them weren’t causing any problems; it just seemed we needed another reason to say things were not great and everything was going down the pan.

Now, I know things are expensive and last week I paid 78p for a Flake. Yes, 78p. In fact what the hell is going on? A Bounty is 80p, a Kit Kat (an ordinary Kit Kat!) and a bag of disco’s is 49p.

But why on earth is grumpy now ‘cool’?

When you meet a person who generally just gets on with their job and doesn’t moan about every third thing we think there is something wrong with them.

And this grumpiness has been transferred on to Facebook and Twitter.

Scrolling through some messages on the social network sites I noticed that the majority were full of people moaning about the insignificant things and getting praised for it.

Want to be grumpy? Fine, just don’t do it on my time.

Comments (3)

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5:42pm Fri 24 Feb 12

woolywords says...

I don't know about the God-given rights of moaning but I was exposed to proper moaning, by Masters of the 'artform', Messrs, Tony Hancock, Alf Garnett and lately, Victor Meldrew. Thier form of moaning was an absolute joy to behold and therein lies the trick of it, the moan produced a smile in the listener. Few can acheive this nowadays.
Years ago, my Father, an habitual moaner, taught me the proper way to go about it. You need to start with a dry acerbic wit that cuts to the bone but ends in something that gives a smile.
While in Morrisons for example, waiting in a queue, mutter this,
'Didn't have to wait in Tesco this long, to get the self service checkout..'
Pause, then say,
'Mind you, it was 4'o'clock this morning.'
Trust me, you will learn how palpable, the loss of frustration is, in those around you.

As for your grumble about the price of chococlate bars, that's a whole new ball game..
Chocolate is not good for moaners, it gives them a high in something called Serotonin, that lasts for about an hour, then leaves them just as bad, if not worse. It's like having a drug habit, not good for you.
Have yourself a wander around the web for site called,
aquarterof dot whatever,
it's in Shadsworth really but that's the world wide web for you.
Place an order for some Rowntrees Fruit Gums.
Made with real fruit juices, with no complicated E numbers and stuff.. and here's the thing, it could be a health product.
All that fruit could count towards your 5 a day fruit thing that you are supposed to have.
And...half-sucked ones are way better than blu-tack for keeping your photos stuck up.
I don't know about the God-given rights of moaning but I was exposed to proper moaning, by Masters of the 'artform', Messrs, Tony Hancock, Alf Garnett and lately, Victor Meldrew. Thier form of moaning was an absolute joy to behold and therein lies the trick of it, the moan produced a smile in the listener. Few can acheive this nowadays. Years ago, my Father, an habitual moaner, taught me the proper way to go about it. You need to start with a dry acerbic wit that cuts to the bone but ends in something that gives a smile. While in Morrisons for example, waiting in a queue, mutter this, 'Didn't have to wait in Tesco this long, to get the self service checkout..' Pause, then say, 'Mind you, it was 4'o'clock this morning.' Trust me, you will learn how palpable, the loss of frustration is, in those around you. As for your grumble about the price of chococlate bars, that's a whole new ball game.. Chocolate is not good for moaners, it gives them a high in something called Serotonin, that lasts for about an hour, then leaves them just as bad, if not worse. It's like having a drug habit, not good for you. Have yourself a wander around the web for site called, aquarterof dot whatever, it's in Shadsworth really but that's the world wide web for you. Place an order for some Rowntrees Fruit Gums. Made with real fruit juices, with no complicated E numbers and stuff.. and here's the thing, it could be a health product. All that fruit could count towards your 5 a day fruit thing that you are supposed to have. And...half-sucked ones are way better than blu-tack for keeping your photos stuck up. woolywords
  • Score: 0

10:38pm Fri 24 Feb 12

ToffeeGuy says...

You're grumpy about grumpiness.

A flake for 78p? Get yerself down the Home Bargains or B&M.
You're grumpy about grumpiness. A flake for 78p? Get yerself down the Home Bargains or B&M. ToffeeGuy
  • Score: 0

7:11am Sun 26 Feb 12

Kevin, Colne says...

Shuiab, hi!

When meeting a perpetual moaner I usually greet them by adopting a phrase from Officer Crabtree in Hello! Hello!: “Good moaning”.

You state: ‘Now, I know things are expensive and last week I paid 78p for a Flake. Yes, 78p. In fact what the hell is going on? A Bounty is 80p, a Kit Kat (an ordinary Kit Kat!) and a bag of disco’s is 49p.’ Incidently, a Flake at 78p is 15/10d in proper money.

I have to say that ToffeGuy is right: Home Bargains rocks!

Shuiab asks: ‘what the hell is going on?’ I realise that this was a passing remark but it would have been worthy to have a go at producing an answer.

As best I can judge commodity prices – food, oil and base minerals and materials - are increasing at a fair clip because demand has shifted upwards sharply and the world’s central banks are engaging in a process of collective devaluation of currencies.

I have heard some people argue that we are now in a ‘commodity super-cycle’ while others have described the action of central bankers as ‘the race to debase’, either way what all this means is the price of a Flake, Bounty, KitKat and a bag of Disco’s, along with a great many other things, is headed in one direction only: and that direction is upwards.

Moreover, if the UK continues to suffer drought conditions then domestic foods of all kinds could be impacted very severely.

In short, I doubt very much that food prices will be coming down any day soon.

If all this comes to pass the moaners will be in heaven!

Kevin
Shuiab, hi! When meeting a perpetual moaner I usually greet them by adopting a phrase from Officer Crabtree in Hello! Hello!: “Good moaning”. You state: ‘Now, I know things are expensive and last week I paid 78p for a Flake. Yes, 78p. In fact what the hell is going on? A Bounty is 80p, a Kit Kat (an ordinary Kit Kat!) and a bag of disco’s is 49p.’ Incidently, a Flake at 78p is 15/10d in proper money. I have to say that ToffeGuy is right: Home Bargains rocks! Shuiab asks: ‘what the hell is going on?’ I realise that this was a passing remark but it would have been worthy to have a go at producing an answer. As best I can judge commodity prices – food, oil and base minerals and materials - are increasing at a fair clip because demand has shifted upwards sharply and the world’s central banks are engaging in a process of collective devaluation of currencies. I have heard some people argue that we are now in a ‘commodity super-cycle’ while others have described the action of central bankers as ‘the race to debase’, either way what all this means is the price of a Flake, Bounty, KitKat and a bag of Disco’s, along with a great many other things, is headed in one direction only: and that direction is upwards. Moreover, if the UK continues to suffer drought conditions then domestic foods of all kinds could be impacted very severely. In short, I doubt very much that food prices will be coming down any day soon. If all this comes to pass the moaners will be in heaven! Kevin Kevin, Colne
  • Score: 0

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