Pointers for pregnancy period

11:48am Friday 30th September 2011 in Shuiab Khan column Photograph of the Author By Shuiab Khan

MOST women think that men do nothing during pregnancy.

Now, on the whole, I agree with this, but then a part of me kind of finds this insulting.

Men do a hell of a lot during pregnancy, apart from carrying the baby around and giving birth.

Tell this to anyone and they think you are bonkers.

Generally, men are supposed to remain quiet during the pregnancy period in case they say something offensive.

I have tiptoed around a fair few subjects over the past few weeks and, with only days to go now, I think I have picked up some great pointers for those in a similar situation.

If your woman says anything about her weight during pregnancy, you are never ever allowed to say she could do with losing a few pounds.

I have a friend who decided to tell his wife just that. It was the last mistake he made. I haven’t seen him since.

No, seriously, I haven’t seen him at all. He just vanished without a trace. Some say he is buried in the back yard with some dumbbells.

I would like to point out that, generally, my other half tends to want to continue and not make too much of a fuss.

Much like the old days, I guess, when the women were made of steel and managed to give birth and be back working in the factory for 2pm.

Well, that is what someone told me. I’m not entirely sure if they were making it up.

I also think there is a reason why men don’t have to do as much through this as we are not very good at multi-tasking.

I find it difficult to concentrate on one thing while doing another.

And what do men do during pregnancy?

Well, there is the matter of… and the… what about the… Okay, we don’t do anything during the pregnancy period, apart from keep our mouths shut.

That’s an accomplishment in itself I think.

A big thank-you this week goes to the Mothers and Others Group, based at Cambridge Street Methodist Church, who invited me to do a talk about life, and things, at its bi-weekly meeting.

The cup of tea and biscuits were wonderful, the question-and- answer session even more so.

Comments (2)

10:22am Mon 3 Oct 11

Parly says...

I feel sorry for expectant fathers because regardless of what my fellow female friends will say, you lot DO have it rough.
.
Pregnant women get ill, teary and bad tempered because of all the hormonal changes, fatter by the day, exhausted from carrying around all that extra weight, crying and generally feeling unattractive and there’s nothing you can do to help. Then to top it off, we direct all our anger and frustration straight towards you and there’s nothing you can do about that either.
.
My sister in law went berserk at my brother when she was about four months pregnant, smashing up the kitchen in a right rage because...? He dared to add an extra loaf of bread to the shopping list she’d made.
.
I was also guilty of becoming a mentalist when I was pregnant but to be fair, I’d warn my husband to keep well out of my way for the next couple of hours.
.
Still, you’re nearing the finishing line now Shuiab so think happy thoughts and remember it’ll all be over soon. Hope all goes well and your youngster arrives safely! :)
I feel sorry for expectant fathers because regardless of what my fellow female friends will say, you lot DO have it rough. . Pregnant women get ill, teary and bad tempered because of all the hormonal changes, fatter by the day, exhausted from carrying around all that extra weight, crying and generally feeling unattractive and there’s nothing you can do to help. Then to top it off, we direct all our anger and frustration straight towards you and there’s nothing you can do about that either. . My sister in law went berserk at my brother when she was about four months pregnant, smashing up the kitchen in a right rage because...? He dared to add an extra loaf of bread to the shopping list she’d made. . I was also guilty of becoming a mentalist when I was pregnant but to be fair, I’d warn my husband to keep well out of my way for the next couple of hours. . Still, you’re nearing the finishing line now Shuiab so think happy thoughts and remember it’ll all be over soon. Hope all goes well and your youngster arrives safely! :) Parly

10:28am Mon 3 Oct 11

Parly says...

And another thing – I never understand why women get really annoyed in the delivery room because their husbands are sat there whilst they’re sweating it out. What can you do?
.
I could tell from the look on my poor husband’s face that he was going through his own little hell because he felt so useless so I booted him out of the delivery room until it was all over and done with. I didn’t particularly need him hanging around like a bad smell and he didn’t need to see just how unpleasant and messy childbirth is so out he went.
.
I wouldn’t suggest that to your wife though Shuiab. She might beat you to death with the nearest gynaecological instrument.
And another thing – I never understand why women get really annoyed in the delivery room because their husbands are sat there whilst they’re sweating it out. What can you do? . I could tell from the look on my poor husband’s face that he was going through his own little hell because he felt so useless so I booted him out of the delivery room until it was all over and done with. I didn’t particularly need him hanging around like a bad smell and he didn’t need to see just how unpleasant and messy childbirth is so out he went. . I wouldn’t suggest that to your wife though Shuiab. She might beat you to death with the nearest gynaecological instrument. Parly

Comments are closed on this article.

click2find

About cookies

We want you to enjoy your visit to our website. That's why we use cookies to enhance your experience. By staying on our website you agree to our use of cookies. Find out more about the cookies we use.

I agree