WOULD you Adam and Eve it! Another week, another scandal at the Palace of Westminster.

If Jeffrey Archer had penned a novel about the Westminster sleaze and expenses scandal, his publishers would surely have rejected it for being too over the top.

The sleazy pigs (David Cameron’s words, not mine) known as the former Labour ministers Byers, Hoon and Hewitt, and the Tory Grandee Sir John Butterfill, have made my blood boil, and not for the reasons you might expect.

Anyone who thinks democracy works with everyone walking around in white flowing robes, playing everything with a straight bat, is naive in the extreme.

Wheeler dealing and power broking has gone on since time began and it ain’t going to change.

One thing I have learnt in my 55 years on this planet is it’s not what you know, but who you know that really counts.

I have no issues with lobbying, providing it does not descend into total sleaze. But why am I so mad? Because I can’t believe their staggering gullibility.

I watched the Dispatches programme with my mouth wide open. How on earth could senior political figures have been so stupid to leave themselves open to being set up like that? These people are supposed to be making big decisions on our behalf.

I may not be the brightest bulb in the box, but I’m canny and wary, and confident I would not get caught out like that (no hoax calls over the next few days from Bob Holmes, Tupper or Birty please!) On to real heroes, and Eddie Izzard is a true inspiration. I would make watching the documentary about his staggering marathon runs for Sport Relief compulsory viewing.

On the subject of running, I never thought I’d have anything in common with David Beckham but, in actual fact, I have - we both damaged our Achilles tendons in sporting accidents.

He did his playing football at the highest level. Mine went on me whilst I was doing an impromptu spot of ouzo-fuelled Greek dancing at a local taverna. Becks was jetted out to Finland for surgery, and I was treated by the NHS. But, believe me, what a fantastic service I received, although I bet David didn’t have to keep pumping twentypences into the parking machine.