Mobiles are a hotline into your marriage (From Lancashire Telegraph)

Mobiles are a hotline into your marriage

11:48am Friday 3rd August 2007 in Opinion By Shuiab Khan

A wise man once said that marriage gets easier as you get older.

I have researched the subject and have decided this wise man was wrong or that he made the comments before the invention of the mobile phone.

The married folk of today rely on the mobile phone and it is this more than than anything else that makes a marriage work or fail.

It's a simple theory and, having read this, you will also become a follower of my new-found belief.

I met a friend of mine the other day who had been married for 12 years. He seemed to be so full of himself.

"I don't call my missus, she calls me," he said.

Wow, I thought to myself. He certainly has got it all boxed off. I hope I can be at that stage when I hit the 12-years mark.

"I don't reply to any missed calls either," he continued "and if for one moment I think she is pressurising me in any way I switch the phone off.

I was impressed...switch the phone off. For a couple of moments I thought this guy was bravest man in the world. He was like some great teacher kind of bloke who knew everything and anything about life.

After nearly six years of marriage I still have to check my phone every twenty seconds in case I missed a call.

I have, however, quit texting unless it is totally necessary. Or maybe she stopped texting me...I don't know.

You can always tell how long a person has been married by the manner and the amount of time he speaks to his wife over the phone. The shorter the call the longer he has been married.

All this big talk was certainly enlightening stuff for our friend - a newly-married man. Three months this gentlemen had been married and when his wife phoned he not only answered it within the first ring but also stood up. Standing up it seems can make all the difference.

For our most senior friend these little tales brought a tear to his eye. He had been married for over 30 years and loved reminiscing about a time when there was no mobile phone to be contacted on.

"Oh...it was bliss in them days. We never even had a landline never mind a mobile. We used the public call box to make a call...happy times."

Suddenly the phone rang. It was 12-years married man's phone.

He looked at us, then at the phone, then at us again before leaping to his feet and hurrying into another room. All the time he was quickly turning the speaker volume down, pretending it was business call and looking cross with himself.

The phone can tell you everything. Love? What's love got to do with it?