Speak out if you’re a victim

I HAVE heard on the news that Theresa May is concentrating on how domestic violence is dealt with.

I have been a victim of domestic violence, I was with a man for nearly six years who mentally abused and physically abused me.

I contacted the police several times but always retracted my statements. I tried to seek help but never got the support I needed, I ended up having a child to this man which eventually gave me the strength to leave him.

He also abused me in front of my child which I also never told anyone until now. When I left him I eventually allowed him to see his daughter but he used that as a manipulation over me, there was a severe incident where he tried to push me out of a moving vehicle for not wanting to get back with him.

I contacted the police, they were not very helpful and lost my pictures which they took as evidence. The case made me feel like I was lying or like it was my fault. Now this man is taking me to court over our daughter. She has seen too much and doesn’t want to see him.

Cafcass (The Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service) and the judges are not taking into account my daughter’s choices and say that he will have some sort of contact with her whether it is supervised or not. Even if it’s supervised eventually that will come to an end. I fear how he will manipulate her and affect her mentally.

Also letting him see her will condone everything he has done, how will she ever learn right from wrong! I work so hard to bring this little girl up, she has routine, love, we go to church, I spend every second I have with her, since he has been out of our lives she is such a happy little girl.

The judge says because he is her father he should have rights. I disagree! It’s easy to make a baby the real challenge is taking responsibility for that child, putting your child first no matter want, providing for your child financially and in every way. In my eyes he lost those rights by never being there, never helping financially.

Women in this situation need to realise that they must speak out otherwise men like him will get away with it and always have control over there lives.

Name and address withheld

My tips on retirement

I DON’T think there is an NHS guide book for healthy active elderly people after retirement so I have drawn up my own: bucket list for happiness and health in retirement.

1. Watch less TV; 2. Improve social relations – get a hobby and spend time with friends; 3. Increase levels of physical activity – get a dog, go for long walks etc; 4. Help others and express gratitude to those who have helped you; 5. Keep volunteering and take on new challenges; 6. Don’t do stress; 7. Don’t do cold; 8. Get enough sleep; 9. Laugh a lot; 10. Stay out of debt.

Doing all of the above with my wife in retirement may not make me live forever, but I am happy and living very well.

Bob Welch, Burnley

Some common sense please

BECAUSE of age I have to wear hearing aids and I am never aware of cycles approaching from behind until they flash past at speed.

An accident waiting to happen! It is too late for me to resume cycling but I still require consideration.

While most cyclist are considerate there are many who ride with little common sense and I would relate two incidents.

Firstly, when in my car waiting at a red light a cyclist passed both lines of standing traffic on the outside and shot through the

red light.

The second incident was when I was walking with my wife past the end of the canal path and a rider squeezed through the barrier on our right without dismounting and was so intent on looking to the right, to ride straight across the road, that he appeared unaware of our presence.

DJ

(by email)