Is it cheating to ask Google for everything? While I hate social networking – with a vengeance – I do have s soft spot for Google.

You see Google ensures I do not need to converse with people anymore.

I know this might seem a little drastic but Google means I do not need to give people directions or takeaway telephone numbers.

I get annoyed when I get calls from people wanting postcodes to places. They ring me from their £400 phones wanting to know where that ‘great restaurant is’.

You have a phone use it.

But somehow getting someone else to log on to Google is so much more fun.

Google also means I can find out answers to medical ailments without having to beg for a doctor’s appointment at 8.30am.

The thing about Google is that one does not need to talk to the experts anymore because the experts are already online telling you what to do.

If the pain is on the left side of the leg rather than the right then you will be fine. Chill out, relax and take a paracetamol.

I have to say I have diagnosed several friends’ ailments via Google. They all ended with the following conclusions. You need to stop drinking fizzy stuff, stop eating spicy stuff and stop smoking funny stuff.

And if none of that works then take a paracetamol.

I even used Google to find out if I had spelt ‘paracetamol’ correctly. Turns out I did.

The best thing ever invented after Google is YouTube. If YouTube does not have a video telling you how to fix your computer then you are not looking hard enough.

Technical support for computer problems is dead. We don’t need to ring anyone anymore – you can be sure there is a person somewhere on the planet who has made a tutorial.

The only problem with Google is that it cannot answer your kids’ homework questions. I was tempted to say ‘Google it’ when asked about particular questions.

But those primary school teachers know when you have cheated. Google told me that.