This weekend will be hot. It won’t be hot, Pakistan style (where the temperature was 42 degrees C this week) but it is going to be warm for us Brits.

Come to think about it, anything above 10 degrees is T-shirt weather.

But if you reach a certain age you are not permitted to enjoy it. This seems to be an unwritten rule.

If you have kids you will be spending time sat in a traffic jam for several hours, or ferrying people from one place to the next.

I, for one, do not understand the need to hurry to the seaside as soon as we have two days of consecutive sunshine.

Rather than fine people for driving too slow in the middle lane of motorways why not have a set of new more pressing regulations imposed during a mini heat wave?

You can begin with a rule that bans you wearing shorts in supermarkets after you reach a certain age.

In your twenties, wearing shorts is fine. In your thirties it all becomes a little uncomfortable but you can pull it off, I suppose.

In your forties and fifties –wearing shorts, sandals and any sort of loose tops should be banned.

I am not being a killjoy but there are some things we want to see and some things we don’t.

I am also starting a campaign to hand out free deodorant before people enter shopping areas, petrol stations and anywhere else where you have stand in a queue.

I know we aren’t allowed to say certain things in case we offend people but I think the majority have spoken.

Finally, there also needs to be on the spot fines if you are driving a car and are playing anything other than seventies classics.

In fact, your insurance should go down if you are heard playing The Carpenters, The Eagles, Steely Dan, Abba (but not Dancing Queen), Santana, Bill Withers, Queen and ELO.

If you choose to play nonsense music, then please put your window up.