WHAT on earth does one do when one wants to ‘chillax’?

Why would anyone even use the word ‘chillax’?

And what does it actually mean?

I heard this word the other day for the first time. So that either means I’m not listening to people or I am simply not up with the times.

It has completely and utterly baffled me. They have mixed the word ‘chill’ with the word ‘relax’ to make ‘chillax’. The thing is no matter how hard one tries there are certain people who should not use these words in any sentence.

I am one of those people because when I use them I look like a complete idiot.

Rather than steer clear of such words I have found there are more and more people using them when they clearly should not.

There is no way that you should ever use the phrase ‘That’s sick’ to describe something that is good.

‘Sick’ does not mean ‘good’ it means that someone or thing has an illness.

All people aged 30 or over should not use this word in public. It should be banned and those 30-somethings who continue to use this word should be fined.

The word ‘Giz’ also has limits. The only time it is OK to use this shortened version of “Give me...” is when you are playing in a cup final and find yourself unmarked at the far post. At which point one should be able to shout out ‘Giz it here…’ You should at no point try to use the saying ‘Are you talking to me or chewing a brick.’ Unless, of course, you are standing in a queue and someone pushes in and takes your spot. Having politely asked him to go to the back of the queue the man refuses. He then sets about verbally abusing you and making chicken noises.

All the time he has a smaller friend who is laughing and making derogatory comments in your direction.

At this point and only at this point must you be able to stare at his less threatening and smaller weaker friend and say out loud: “Are you talking to me or chewing a brick? Either way you lose your teeth.”