Help I’ve Got A High-Maintenance Wife, Five

9:44am Friday 25th January 2008

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Her footballer boyfriend may only play for Peterborough, but wannabe WAG Nicola McLean is so high-maintenance that even David Beckham would need a second job to pay for her lifestyle.

The ex-model was the most ridiculous of the four women to feature in last night's Help I've Got A High-Maintenance Wife.

She seemed proud that she would rather sleep in her make-up than let boyfriend Tommy Williams see her without her slap on - and admitted that every morning she wakes first and tiptoes out of bed to reapply a fresh layer.

Now surely after three years together you'd think she'd be worn out. And she didn't even let a little thing like giving birth get in the way of her beauty regime, saying that she felt it was very important to have her full face on, hair straightened and perfect nails.

Her role models are Pamela Anderson, Jordan and Jessica Rabbit. And although she always looks her best, how she keeps her long-suffering man is beyond me.

She refuses to lift a manicured finger around the house and will not even phone for her own takeaway - she'll ring Tommy wherever he is and make him do it.

The worst part is, he does!

And as for the other wives, one with a severe case of OCD, they look like a walk in the park to live with when put alongside this bonkers bimbo.