Hollyoaks, Channel 4

12:09pm Wednesday 23rd January 2008

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I know Hollyoaks is aimed at teenagers but I tuned in last night just to see what the fuss is about.

Once a fan, I thought maybe it might be a lovely nostalgic trip down memory lane with Jambo and Kirk and the old gang.

But of course, like every other soap, none of them was anywhere to be seen and instead a bunch of kids that were about as wooden as my desk were on the set - but not acting these days, just reading lines.

It was like watching a bad school play with a couple of really bad actors, which seemed like they were only in it out of pity, like the ones the teachers used to have to give a part to just to be fair.

And if the terrible acting was not enough to put me off ever foolishly tuning in again, the storylines sealed the deal.

They could not be more ridiculous - this lot are more unlucky than the residents on Albert Square and that is seriously saying something.

Those families could win awards for bravery with the amount of strife they overcome in one lifetime.

Last night in Chester we saw Jake, who has previously been to jail for knocking over and killing another character, panic- stricken as his son, whose mother died in prison, lost consciousness.

So it appears we are going to discover there is now something wrong with him, tool!