Freaky and Wacky

First published in Literature

The lecturer from Planet Rum
Addressed his doubtful class:
‘I have some most exciting plans
Which soon will come to pass.
‘We’re going to visit Planet Earth
Where Earthlings all reside,
‘My spaceship’s at the ready,
We have to go outside.’
‘But Sir,’ Said little Freaky,
‘Are you sure we ought to go.
‘And visit those odd Earthlings
For they look bizarre, you know.’
‘Yes,’ said Wacky, I have heard,
They only have one head,
‘And two arms, not 11,
And their eyes aren’t black and red.’
‘Tut, tut,’ said their professor,
‘I know that they look weird,
‘But despite their strange appearance,
There is nothing to be feared.
‘They do not like each other much
And they quarrel, fight and curse,
‘Instead of finding out about
The wondrous universe
‘I do not think they’ll notice us,
For all the time they plan
To try to blow each other up,
Man’s enemy is Man.
‘Their planet, though, is beautiful,
Much better than this place.
‘We need to go and live there
And supplant the human race.
‘For in their self – destruction
They’ve lost sight of what it’s worth,
‘And when they blow each other up
They might blow up the Earth.’
The professor surveyed his lovely class,
So many – limbed and green,
‘We’ll be an asset to the Earth,
Add lustre to the scene.
‘So come aboard, my beauties,
There’s no better time than this,
‘We’ll rid the Earth of those aliens
And live a life of bliss.’


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