Christmas Loko

I went along to Tesco, one Friday in July And there I saw an item – that I greeted with a sigh, For, there on a special counter, for everyone to see, ‘Aunt Bessie’s Christmas Pudding – buy one get one free,’ ‘Best before November’ said the notice on the label, So that’s no blooming good – to grace the Christmas table.

In August while at Blackpool, I thought I’d buy some rock.

The lady said she’d sold out, but had Christmas cards in stock.

September saw me thinking, of daffodils for next year, I know at our local garden centre – they quickly disappear.

But I was disappointed, and saddened by the sights, For the only bulbs that I could find, were those for Christmas lights.

When the nights get shorter, Father Christmas is about, It may still be October, but from school the kids are out.

They visit Santa with their parents, but don’t sit on his knee, For if they do, he’ll be accused of being non – PC!

I can tell it is November, when he jingles on TV Say: ‘Go to Tesco’s for your gifts, and have a spending spree.

Penny for the Guy, Sir, and a carol shall we sing, ‘To save us coming round again – To give your bell a ring?’ The cards are now arriving, December in with a burst, The post is late, hey what’s the date? I see, it’s just the first.

The folk across the road from us, think it’s quite exciting, To deck the house, from roof to ground, with fancy electric lighting.

On Christmas Eve we needed milk, so I went into town.

Not a sight of Christmas – all the lights were down.

Not one Christmas pudding, all mince pies were gone, Just a load of bric – a – brac, and a big sign saying ‘Sale now on’.

‘But across in one corner – For everyone to see, Cadbury’s giant Easter eggs – buy one, get one free!’.

BY DARRYL ASHTON

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