THE prison cell wall is smeared with vomit and faeces. Bloody shoe-less footprints lead the eye to a congealed mass in its centre. The in-cell camera has been obscured with excrement to shield the anonymous occupant from prying eyes.

It looks like a scene from a Saw movie. The only part missing is the victim and the man with the deep voice.

What it is, in fact, is a prison cell re-construction within Accrington and Rossendale College for students on its bespoke crime and trauma scene cleaning course. It’s aimed at professionals working within the facilities and cleaning sector. What’s more, it’s the only college in the UK doing it.

Course leader Stuart Wilson has started to draw attention in Tesco for his regular purchases of Nutella, vegetable soup, tomato sauce, condoms and nappies, which he uses to re-create a typical crime scene for students. Being a smoker, he contributes his own cigarette butts and packets for the sordid backdrop. If we didn’t know better, it would sound like fun.

Stuart, who has worked for the police as a crime scene cleaner, says a “dirty protest” is a typical scenario and one that police officers leave to the experts.

“Someone is arrested. They’re upset. They could be blind drunk and angry with the police, so they smear faeces all over the place thinking the officers will have to clean it up. They pee their pants or they could be vomiting. Although weapons and needles are taken away, I know of one incident where a man still managed to slit his wrists. This is why specialist cleaners are needed.”

And it’s not just a simple mop and bucket and a squirt of Flash job.

Students are taught about biohazards and blood borne viruses like hepatitis, HIV and in other scenarios MRSA, E-coli, salmonella and infectious diseases. Strong anti-microbial cleaners, which remain on surfaces for up to 30 days, kill off hazardous microbes and micro-organisms, but training in their use is essential. It’s not so much about cleaning up, but killing off contamination.

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Disposal after the clean-up is also of paramount importance. Waste regulation is a serious business and if such materials – syringes and the like – are not disposed of correctly, huge fines and possible prison sentences are a consequence. Autoclaving – a pressure chamber used to sterilise waste by subjecting it to high pressure saturated steam at 121C for about 15 to 20 minutes – “cooks” and kills any form of contamination.

Stuart also uses a specialist material that shows up germs under UV light. “Even when you think an area is as clean as it can be, it’s possible that it isn’t and that’s really important.” Kim and Aggie would be proud.

Other areas of the college are used to create a makeshift squat and a public toilet where the hazard to watch out for is used syringes, which are often hidden in cigarette packets and the like.

“We teach the students to conduct a finger-tip search because it’s not always obvious what is lurking.”

The course lasts two days and concentrates on six students at a time.

Says Stuart: “We have excellent facilities for learners to demonstrate their practical competence with industry-standard equipment and a workshop with ‘real life’ working situations and simulated crime and trauma scenes.

“Being able to confirm you are trained and certificated for this type of work can lead to more success when bidding for contracts and work, which can only assist in building your business and your range of skills.

“On the course students learn best practice, health and safety, infection control and the skills and knowledge about the fundamentals of the crime and trauma scene cleaning industry.”

One of the more lucrative lines of business open to graduates of the course is prison cleaning where fees of between £400 and £500 can be commanded for particularly dirty cells. “Prison officers aren’t allowed to touch a drop of blood, so they call in the specialists.”

One student who recently completed the course is 36-year-old Graham Hughes who has now set up 999 Cleaning Services in Accrington. He’s already secured his first contract cleaning equipment for a company that specialises in walking frames and hoists. He hopes to enter the housing association market. Old people’s homes is another area of potential business.

“I don’t mind cleaning up mess,” he says cheerily. “At the end of the day it’s a job and it’s a very important service. This is a serious, specialised business and I want to build up a good reputation and then start to take people on to work for me.”

But for Stuart back at the college, there’s one small disadvantage of being a clean-up expert. “Whenever anyone has an accident, I’m the man they call.”