LIVING with the in-laws is a contentious issue. It certainly polarises opinion.

A young mother-of-two, Najma (not her real name) spoke of the incessant clashes she encountered when living with her husband’s family.

She said: “I found it really tough living with my in-laws. There were two brothers there with their wives and their children. There were so many issues. My kids would sleep early while their cousins would still be running around playing and screaming.

“Their kids would come in eating ice cream while my kids were eating dinner. Then my kids wouldn’t want to eat their food.

“My mother-in-law wouldn’t even let us buy a high chair for the kids. She made us tie a dupatta around them when they were sat on the kitchen chairs.

“You can’t even complain to our husbands because they are such mummy’s boys.

“Once one of my white neighbours admitted that she thought my father-in-law had three wives and assumed I was the youngest one. I was mortified.”

Another woman, Halima shared her brief experience of living with her in-laws.

“I was working full time as well as my husband and it was horrible. My father-in-law didn’t like it if my husband ever sat next to me at the dining table or even on the sofa.

It is not always women, however, who move in with their in-laws. In some instances, men move into their in-laws’ homes.

Farook spoke to us candidly about how his self-esteem suffered as a result of living with his wife’s family.

“As if my wife’s constant fights with her mum weren’t bad enough, the atmosphere was always tense.

“I was constantly reminded how lucky I am that I am not paying the bills or the mortgage. The constant taunts and jibes made me feel inept, like I had failed in life.

“I have a PhD. The trouble was when I moved over from Pakistan, I couldn’t get a job.”