DEAR MASSI, My sister is racist. She doesn’t want me to marry someone I love.

I met my fiancé, who is black, several years ago. He has been to our house and my parents are quite happy with him.

His parents don’t have an issue either but ever since everything came out my sister has made nasty comments when I am not home. I have confronted her and she says she doesn’t mean it.

But recently I heard her make more racist comments in the kitchen when I was at home. My cousins laughed when she said the horrible words.

It upset me so much. How can I marry him if my own sister is making such comments?

Massi Says: There is no excuse for your sister's behaviour. Racist comments are never acceptable.

However, take a step back and try and understand the reason for your sister's negativity.

Is she envious that you are getting married? Is she feeling displaced because your fiancé is now playing an important role in your life?

You say that your parents and your fiancé’s parents support your relationship.

You do not need your sister’s permission nor her blessing to marry this man.

Neither is your sister the glue that bonds you and your fiancé together.

Tell your sister in a loving way that her words are hurtful and are causing you to be upset.

If she still does not amend her ways, try and ignore your sister's comments.