DEAR MASSI...

I had been with my girlfriend for 10 years. We got together when we were 18. We were both madly in love with each other and confided in each other. I was her best friend and lover all in one and she was everything to me.

Our time together was amazing, we went out often, holidays, really enjoyed ourselves.

We were of different religions, me being a Sikh and her a Hindu.

We were always scared of telling our parents so was kept away from them for many years. However, we did so a couple of years ago as we wanted to get married. At that time she said she would leave her family to be with me even if they didn’t approve. I said I want both sets of parents on side as I didn’t want any confrontation, but would support her no matter what if she left her family.

Her parents didn’t accept us so to make her life easier she bought her own place to move to only a couple of miles away from her family home.

I supported her with bills, mortgage etc. She then had doubts about our future and said I’m not sure about the religion difference.

She says she doesn’t love me. I asked what brought this on, she said religion, the house thing, I don't want to live where we are now. She said we are comfortable together; I just don’t want comfortable.

This sudden turn has hit me for six and I don’t know what I should do. I haven’t spoken to her for four days and given her space, thinking if I meant anything to her she could get in touch, but nothing. I’ve spoken to family and friends, and they are shocked and think this is really out of character for her.

My mates say I’ve been punching above my weight and really I have. She’s stunning and we got together as she just got out of an 18-month relationship.

How do I go about this? I’m having sleepless nights and struggling to eat. Please help me sort this out

Massi Says: Any break-up is difficult. I feel for you as the angst and pain are clear in your words. However, your ex-girlfriend is very much an ex now. She has made it more than clear that she no longer wishes to be with you. As difficult as this truth is to accept, you must now take a step back and not communicate with her at all.

When relationships end, they don’t always come with warning signs.

Your shock is understandable. But it is better that your ex has told you about how her feelings have changed for you now, rather than holding back and being unhappily married.

You have to learn to let go of this finished relationship. Take some time out now for yourself, and focus on what you would like to do in life, on your hopes and dreams.