DEAR MASSI...

I have been with a guy for some time and things were going well.

Then I realised he wanted to borrow money all the time. I gave it him and he promised to pay me back.

He never has and keeps asking me for more money. I know I should not have given him anything but when you are with someone you have to trust them.

Things then took a turn for the worse when I found he was spending my money on another girl.

He was borrowing money from me and then going out on a date with another girl on the same night.

He says it was a mistake and he wants to stay with me. I keep thinking I won’t get my money back if I don’t stay with him.

It is a vicious circle. I don’t like him any more but he owes me money.

My friends say I am stupid for staying with him but what can I do? I just know I have been used but I just don’t want him to get away with it.

Massi says Money is a test in any relationship. Spending large amounts on presents and dinners is one thing, but borrowing money is another.

You reveal that your boyfriend has been borrowing money from you in order to date another girl.

It is more than apparent that your boyfriend has been using you and disrespecting you in the process.If your main concern is retrieving the money you gave him, you are able to go to the small claims court.

I would advise you to speak to a specialist solicitor regarding how to accumulate physical evidence that illustrates the money you gave your boyfriend was a loan and not a gift.

If, however, you do not wish to take the legal route, confront your boyfriend and express clearly that your money should be paid back to you within an agreed period of time.

If he declines or makes excuses, you will realise just how serious he is about your relationship.

This ‘vicious circle’ that you refer to will only end once you respect yourself and assert yourself.