DEAR MASSI, I have seen my father-in-law with another woman.

We are quite a close-knit family. I was at out at a cinema in another town and when I went in there with my friends I saw him inside.

I don’t think my friends saw him. I rang my wife later and just asked where he was and she said he goes out on Saturdays with his friends.

It came as a total shock to me. I have seen him since and I am certain he does not know that I know.

But it didn’t stop there. I saw him again with the same woman at another restaurant. This time I managed to film him on my phone as he was talking to this woman. He is in his forties and this woman looked younger.

Then one day my wife was going through my phone and she saw the video. She is completely shocked and now thinks I was hiding this from her. I have explained to her that I was going to tell her.

We don’t know what to do now. Do we tell her mum? Or her brothers and sisters.

MASSI SAYS, No matter how old we get, it is always shocking to discover that your parents are not happy, or that your parents aren't in love or just that their relationship is more complex than you thought.

In this instance, you have been caught in the middle as your wife has now discovered what you recorded on your phone. I would advise you to speak to your father-in-law directly, alone, and explain clearly to him in a frank yet non-judgemental manner what you saw on both occasions.

Explain that his daughter has also seen what you recorded.

This is clearly a difficult time for you and your wife, but holding onto this secret will only exacerbate the situation.

Remember, you can never know what goes on behind closed doors. No marriage is perfect.

There may well have been cracks in the marriage that the parents successfully shielded their children from.

Open up the discussion with your father-in-law and allow him to take the next step.