In a week's time she is going to get one hell of a surprise.
After years of getting away with things, this year I have planned a proper Valentine's Day.
Remember, gentlemen, next week could well make or break your year.
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After six-and-a-half years of marriage I have come to realise that it is always important to be prepared.
I have picked up a couple of good ideas along the way and most of them have worked out.
For instance last November I went out and bought ten cards for ten different occasions and hid them at home. So regardless of what happens I will always have a card for the occasion.
It is also clever to buy presents in advance. Some years ago I got done over on the doorstep after being caught with a receipt for a present I had told her I had bought a week earlier.
With regards to flowers it is not a good idea to buy the same ones every year. They remember. They remember the colour, the package, the price and especially the scent.
Also the In the olden days my daddy never bought my mum any flowers so what makes you special' line never worked before and won't work now.
For those planning on going the whole hog and rushing to Tesco or Asda at about nine in the evening - remember all the good stuff is usually gone by then.The Quality Street episode of 2003 is still fresh in my mind.
In the event of you actually planning something like a dinner out, remember the place matters. Don't be fooled into thinking that she loves you so much she will eat noodles in an alley with you somewhere. It is not going to happen.
And please, for God's sake, don't send a text after noon. You might think it's cute but deep down she knows you are simply trying to hide the fact that you forgot it was Valentine's Day.
And try not to get fooled by the We won't buy each other anything this year because it's a waste of money' line. I can assure you she has already bought your card, present and prepared an excuse why she broke the promise.
Finally, it is important not to take the advice of the liars.
I have a fair few friends who claim they don't buy anything and don't even remember Valentine's Day.
Steer clear of these, boys, for your own sake. They will bring you down with them.
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