THERE'S been a load of compromising on the road to my horizon.'
Sometimes only the words of Glen Campbell will do.
Ladies and gentlemen it is official...the wonderful Christmas party has lost its soul. It is no longer what it used to be.
Now, I was never really a Christmas party kind of guy but I sense something is not right.
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I miss the days when you could hold a Christmas party and really offend the hell out of each other.
These days the Christmas party is all about pleasing everyone.
They all ask me if I would like vegetarian food...whether we should have bacon butties within a five mile radius of the party and if Slade should really sing 'It's Christmas'.
I am all for being a little offended every now and then. It is good to know that you still matter.
In days gone by the only issue some people had was the fact you didn't drink.
Although that was never a problem for my friend. He loved to drink. It wasn't about fitting in - he just liked to get a little tipsy every now and then.
And the Christmas party was a great excuse to show everyone how 'British' he was.
Funnily enough most people were like me and thought I was more British than him.
However, his antics would always cause people to ask me the million dollar question.
"So how come Jay drinks and you don't?' Is he a different kind of Muslim than you?'
I had no answer.
It was one extreme or the other.
I sometimes got stuck with the guilt-tripper. Man he would make my life hell.
He would come to the party all dressed-up and looked forward to it more than I did but then proceed to moan all night about how bad it was that he was there.
The only fun one ever gets now is when the Christmas pub lunch comes round. It knocked me for six at first.
I was used to either paying for the whole lot or not paying at all.
But in my last job whenever I went with 'the work lot' we would have to split everything equally.
One bloke even bought a calculator with him.
Once everyone had three pints each but I made my cola last a full three hours and twenty-two minutes.
However, when it came to paying the bill, this bloke split everything eight ways.
Next time...I was ready. I ordered seven colas and four orange juices.
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