Being a single parent is not child’s play

12:12pm Friday 16th May 2008

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I had thought it would be pretty easy taking care of two kids on my own.

With the wife away for a couple of days I have been trying to juggle work with family life.

How hard can it be? Give them some cheese and onion and the rest sorts itself out.

But after only a couple of days into the stint I soon realised that being a single-parent is tough.

It is tough because you basically have to do everything. There is no sharing of responsibility because there is no one to share with.

So I hereby take my hat off to all those folk out there who manage to do everything themselves.

Soon enough you end up talking in baby lingo to almost everyone you meet. Conversations usually begin with 'No you can't do that' and Put that down before you hurt someone.' Within hours my whole vocabulary had changed and I realised I couldn't talk to grown-ups anymore unless they cried or repeated things twenty-two times.

The mornings are the biggest test. I find it difficult enough dressing myself but choosing an outfit for a four-year-old is almost impossible.

"Blue doesn't go with pink unless you are wearing red shoes."

I have been matching brown stripes and yellow dots for years and no one has said a single word.

Going out was not an option. The amount of planning one must do to go out just seems to take the fun out of it.

Dinner times are the biggest fun. You can eat what you want and when you want. This rule normally works for grown-ups but for kids it means 'We will eat a little bit of everything and then throw the rest of it on the floor.' But there were some new rules that seemed to work well.

As the naughty corner is a completley pointless place for anyone to spend the time, it was banned. There was no need to hang your clothes up as it was easier to find them if you just threw them wherever you wanted.

The jumping on the sofa rule was banished too as it was an uneccesary rule.

And finally, seeing as kids get tired by nine-ish anyway the bedtime rule was scrapped. You basically went to sleep where ever you wanted. Simple really.