IMAGINE that God waited until now to flood the world.
He locates Noah by Tinker Brook, Oswaldtwistle, proclaiming, "This stream'll become a torrent with what I'll send down. Build an ark! I'll be back."
Months later, rain descends and so does God, "Noah! The Ark! Where is it?"
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"Erm, planning permission, Lord," replies Noah. "They classed the ark as a permanent addition to my back garden, refusing to believe it was only temporary.
"Then, the council banned it as a potential eyesore, disabled access regulations judged the ark's ramp too steep, and the Transport Department demanded I post a £1m bond to meet expected costs of moving the ark to the sea.
"The environment department said the lesser-crested milk-bottle-top-tippling tit would be endangered with the loss of so many trees for the ark, branding plans to save only one breeding pair as unacceptable.
"The R.S.P.C.A. charged me with conspiracy to cruelly confine animals and British Waterways Flood Control said a world flood might threaten the canal system.
"Equal Opportunities claimed that saving only my family did not fully represent ethnic minorities; Customs and Excise refused import licences for exotic species, and the Department of Works said I must only employ accredited ark builders.
Suddenly, the rain stops. "Aren't you going to destroy the world now?" asks Noah
"I'm too late," cries God, "the British Government has beaten me to it."
(my thanks to Skip Southern, a Christian prisoner, for the original idea).
Come on Ian the Beancounter - surely you didn't expect anything either new, interesting, relevent, thought provoking, forward looking or indeed original from [italic]Reverendius Dinosaurius genus-almost- extinctus?[/italic]
Get the feeling the Rev has the hump about not getting his own way (or should that be god's way?) over a planning permission decision?
As an organisation I suggest that the RSPCA is far more deserving of support than Christ Church, Accrington.
The Rev has given us amble homophobic and borderline mysogenist ramblings in the past so it's no surprise that he has a pop at "equal opportunities" (note the actual name is[italic] " Equality and Human Rights Commission"[/italic] but let's remember the Rev doesn't have a good record of getting facts accurate during his weekly wibblings.
Similarly - "customs and excise" ceased to exist long ago and is now "revenue and customs" Same story with Department of Works. There isn't one. There is the DWP.
Rev Logan demonstrates that dinosaurs are alive and well......
And that's before even starting on the ridiculous story of Noah's Ark, which must rank along side Radio Saddam for being a load of rubbish.
Come on Ian the Beancounter - surely you didn't expect anything either new, interesting, relevent, thought provoking, forward looking or indeed original from Reverendius Dinosaurius genus-almost- extinctus?
Get the feeling the Rev has the hump about not getting his own way (or should that be god's way?) over a planning permission decision?
As an organisation I suggest that the RSPCA is far more deserving of support than Christ Church, Accrington.
The Rev has given us amble homophobic and borderline mysogenist ramblings in the past so it's no surprise that he has a pop at "equal opportunities" (note the actual name is " Equality and Human Rights Commission" but let's remember the Rev doesn't have a good record of getting facts accurate during his weekly wibblings.
Similarly - "customs and excise" ceased to exist long ago and is now "revenue and customs" Same story with Department of Works. There isn't one. There is the DWP.
Rev Logan demonstrates that dinosaurs are alive and well......
And that's before even starting on the ridiculous story of Noah's Ark, which must rank along side Radio Saddam for being a load of rubbish.
Posted by: james cronshaw, burnley on 1:12pm Sat 2 Feb 08
The rev prooves once again that senility is no handicap for the religious clergy. Either that or this column proclaims in organ tones that too much Dogma can infect and rot the brain of any man.
Let this be a warning to us all!
The rev prooves once again that senility is no handicap for the religious clergy. Either that or this column proclaims in organ tones that too much Dogma can infect and rot the brain of any man.
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