"LOOK, Lord," the archangel ventures, "what if one of the three kings gets kicked by the donkey?
"What if Melchior's just about to present his frankincense in the stable then accidentally stands on a rake and gets an eyeful of handle?
"And those shepherds coming to the manager, God; are you absolutely positive we've had them CRB checked!?
advertisement
"Actually," adds the archangel, "is it really wise sending your only son into a rat-infested, unhygienic, non-NHS world?
"How about hanging on for a couple of thousand years? At present, there's no air conditioning, their only flush toilets are mountain streams and they've got camels for cars.
"Oh, and by the way, Lord, we'd better play down this first Christmas.
"The Romans say they've already a pantheon of gods and don't need another, thank you very much.
"The Jews want an all-conquering Messiah rather than a baby in swaddling clothes, and the other religions aren't too happy either.
"And one final thing, your Highest: give those Adam and Eves of yours down there any excuse and they'll get sozzled, send each other Red-breast Robin Christmas cards that totally ignore you, kill the in-laws in a plum-pudding throwing contest and binge themselves into debt for the rest of the year."
"Well, that settles it, then," pipes up Jesus, emptying himself of his divinity and shrinking into human form, "I'll go and be their saviour even if it kills me."
Posted by: N 'Man O' Rage' R, London, UK on 10:36am Tue 18 Dec 07
Kev, Ol' Boy... did you forget to take your medication?
[quote]"LOOK, Lord," the archangel ventures, "what if one of the three kings gets kicked by the donkey?
"What if Melchior's just about to present his frankincense in the stable then accidentally stands on a rake and gets an eyeful of handle?
[/quote]
Get it on tape!! You can get £250 a pop from the tv folks. Will help pay for those hallucinogens you take.
Kev, Ol' Boy... did you forget to take your medication?
"LOOK, Lord," the archangel ventures, "what if one of the three kings gets kicked by the donkey?
"What if Melchior's just about to present his frankincense in the stable then accidentally stands on a rake and gets an eyeful of handle?
Get it on tape!! You can get £250 a pop from the tv folks. Will help pay for those hallucinogens you take.
Posted by: Marcus, in a manger.... on 5:37pm Thu 20 Dec 07
[quote]give those Adam and Eves of yours down there any excuse and they'll get sozzled.[/quote]
Speak for yourself if you want rev, but you don't speak for everybidy. You must have a very low opinion of people.
[quote]
send each other Red-breast Robin Christmas cards that totally ignore you,[/quote]
And why not? not everybody wants to be bombarded with religious clap-crap, but most people are happy to join in a giving and receiving gifts for their loved ones.
[quote]["LOOK, Lord," the archangel ventures, "what if one of the three kings gets kicked by the donkey?
"What if Melchior's just about to present his frankincense in the stable then accidentally stands on a rake and gets an eyeful of handle?
quote[/quote]
Been watching the [italic]Life of Brian?[/italic]
Then at least story of the nativity would be funny in addition to being superstition.
give those Adam and Eves of yours down there any excuse and they'll get sozzled.
Speak for yourself if you want rev, but you don't speak for everybidy. You must have a very low opinion of people.
send each other Red-breast Robin Christmas cards that totally ignore you,
And why not? not everybody wants to be bombarded with religious clap-crap, but most people are happy to join in a giving and receiving gifts for their loved ones.
["LOOK, Lord," the archangel ventures, "what if one of the three kings gets kicked by the donkey?
"What if Melchior's just about to present his frankincense in the stable then accidentally stands on a rake and gets an eyeful of handle?
quote
Been watching the Life of Brian?
Then at least story of the nativity would be funny in addition to being superstition.
Posted by: Austin, Mill Hill on 2:49pm Fri 21 Dec 07
Indeed, it seems Rev Kev is getting increasingly paranoid.
They've not published last week's column online, it was a particlarly nasty one, The Good Reverand seems to have a very dim view of humanity, it seems that if you don't believe in his fairy tales, then you're a hellbound heratic.
Indeed, it seems Rev Kev is getting increasingly paranoid.
They've not published last week's column online, it was a particlarly nasty one, The Good Reverand seems to have a very dim view of humanity, it seems that if you don't believe in his fairy tales, then you're a hellbound heratic.
If you liked this article and would like to share it with others on the web who might be searching for good content we've made it easy for you to do it.
At the bottom of all articles, you'll see links to six sites. These sites - commonly called 'social bookmark' or 'social news' sites - have large communities of web users who share and rate interesting, useful and fun things on the web.
Clicking the links will automatically add the address of the story you are reading to one of these sites, letting you share it with others. Each site will ask you to register to share stories. Registration is free and once a member, you can store, recommend and search for stories that interest you.
Print
Email this
Comment
