CELEBRITIES talk a right load of old twaddle. I mean, how exactly do you go about milking a rat?
In case you missed it, this was the suggestion of Heather Mills during a bizarre outburst she made during a speech about how farming animals for dairy is threatening the planet.
"We are the only species that drinks another creatures' milk, so why aren't we drinking rats' milk, dogs' milk or cats' milk? That is how crazy it is," Heather said in her address to the crowd gathered at London's Speaker's Corner.
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Erm, are you sure the fact we don't pour rat milk on our morning cornflakes is the crazy thing about this situation, Heather? The woman is so far removed from reality, she'd need a taxi to get back
Sir Paul is probably thanking his lucky stars that he escaped when he did.
Loopy Mills isn't the only celebrity prone to spouting rubbish. They're all at it.
What about that Lynne Franks on I'm A Celebrity?
On the completion of her bushtucker trial, which involved crawling through a tunnel of bugs, snakes and rats* she said, through tears: "I meditated before I went in there and I did call upon the powers to be my own higher self, whatever guides I've got, whoever's out there to help me through it and my own inner strength." Good God, that woman can talk tosh.
Ex employees have told horror stories of life under her rule - where she'd be chairing a meeting with senior politicians one minute and ordering her secretary to call her therapist to find out what colour she had to channel that day.
It was "like being employed by Margaret Thatcher and Cat Stevens all rolled into one person," one said.
In reality she's about as spiritual as an Ikea table leg, which makes the way she stomps around camp making sure everyone knows she's "going to meditate now," because she's, like, dead spiritual you know, all the more funny.
I thought Lynne was a PR guru anyway? Doesn't that mean it's your job to make stuff look good?
She's scored an own goal this time, for when a woman with a face resembling a grandma pickled in formaldehyde (Janice Dickinson) is laughing at you behind your back, you know you're in trouble.
Other celebs are just as bad.
Big Brother couple Chantelle and Preston's divorce came through on Wednesday - 16 months after their OK! wedding photoshoot.
Then Big Brother's Chanelle feels betrayed for being branded "an absolute psycho" by Ziggy, the family of Angelina Jolie's adopted baby want her back and the Spice Girls' weight battle rumbles on.
What Heather, Lynne, Chantelle, Preston, Chanelle, Ziggy, Angelina and the various Spices really need is a big fat juicy reality sandwich - a week in the life of an ordinary working mum should just about do it.
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