Life can feel like a whirlwind for any of us, sometimes. Events unfold, bills pile up, and unexpected situations throw us off course. It can soon become easy to feel overwhelmed and powerless. A good way to navigate these situations lies in understanding what we can, and importantly, cannot control.

You can take control – not of everything but of the things that truly matter. It’s a process I often use in therapy, to help people put things in perspective, and to feel more in control.

Imagine a scale from one to 10, with one being minimal control and 10 being complete control. Let's explore some areas and see where they land on this scale.

Your Reactions: We can't control what happens to us, but we can control how we react to those things. That unexpected traffic jam? (Control: 1). Your response to it? (Control: 8). Choosing to stay calm and focused on alternative routes, rather than letting frustration take over, puts you back in the driver's seat.

Your Habits: This one falls more towards the controllable side (Control: 7). We can't eliminate cravings or banish laziness entirely, but we can create routines and healthy habits that nudge us in the right direction. Planning nutritious meals and scheduling exercise time are powerful tools.

Your Thoughts: Our thought patterns hold immense power (Control: 6). While negative thoughts can intrude, we can challenge them and cultivate positive self-talk. Mindfulness practices like meditation can help us become aware of these patterns and choose more empowering thoughts.

External Circumstances: Here's where we have the least control (Control: 2). The weather, the economy, other people's actions. However, we can choose how much mental and emotional space we give them. Accepting what we can't change frees us to focus on the areas where we can make a difference.

So, how do we stop the things which are outside of our control from dragging us down?

The first step is acknowledging the limitations of our control. If something scores low, accept you cannot change it. Trying to force change where it's impossible is a recipe for frustration. Acceptance is what allows us to move forward with a clear head.

Taking control doesn't mean achieving monumental feats. It's about the small, daily victories. Did you go for a walk even though the weather wasn't ideal? Did you choose a healthy snack over the sugary temptation? These seemingly minor, but better choices accumulate, building a sense of accomplishment and empowerment.

Martin Furber is a therapist qualified in various modalities and an Instructor Member of Mental Health First Aid England wellbeing@martinfurber.com